


Feed the monster

by DeyaAmaya



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, Jealous Jeremy, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16538108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeyaAmaya/pseuds/DeyaAmaya
Summary: Jeremy Knox had a monster in his chest.Jeremy's been feeding it for years, letting it grow stronger and stronger until it developed a mind of its own.(Jealousy Prompt)





	Feed the monster

**Author's Note:**

> I'm late but still hoping I'll manage a few JereJean fics for this year's bingo! Please let me know if (where) I screwed things up. Also, I don't have a beta so all the mistakes, typo, grammar and tense errors are all mine.

1.

 

** The Trojan Captain Is Sunshine In Human Form! **

 

 _Yeah right_ , scoffs said captain, looking at the frankly absurd news headline. So what if he smiles at everyone? That's just the image he has cultivated. So what if the trojans don't get red cards? That's also for their image. The greater good. The whole shebang. 

 

Jeremy Knox threw the magazine out of his car window. This was too early in the morning to deal with such saccharin lies, especially when Jeremy wasn't feeling like sunshine at all. He was feeling like-

 

Like the monster in his chest would crawl out of his mouth and devour his world.

 

That's right. 

 

Jeremy Knox had a monster in his chest. Jeremy's been feeding it for years, letting it grow stronger and stronger until it developed a mind of its own.

 

Jeremy wasn't a kid anymore. He knew what the monster really was.

 

It was jealousy. It wanted the one thing Jeremy wanted but couldn't have.

 

_Jean Moreau._

 

And oh, almighty, Jeremy had never wanted anything more. 

 

It started small, crept up on Jeremy like curls of smoke. Innocent. Innocuous. 

 

The first time he saw Jean was obviously at a game. Edgar Allen debuted the brand new backliner that stood like a wall between the goal and opposition strikers and Jeremy had the first brush of yearning.

 

_I wish he was a Trojan._

 

But that was a ridiculous thought, wasn't it? He was a raven, through and through. His hair reminded Jeremy of a raven's feather, so black it was almost blue. 

 

That thought stayed in his chest. Festering and feeding the monster till it became frequent, till it became persistent, till it went from _'I wish he was a Trojan'_ to _'I wish he was ours'_ to _'I wish he was mine'_.

 

Jeremy didn't know how it happened. Or maybe he did and couldn't admit to himself exactly when he started looking from Jean's inhumane blocks to his gray gray eyes, when he started looking forward to the Edgar Allen vs. Trojan games because he'd get to shake Jean's hands and see his sweat-soaked hair messed up. He started wishing for Jean Moreau to be _his_. The more he wanted, the more he yearned, the more the monster grew. Jeremy was blindingly jealous of Riko Moriyama, to the point that even he felt embarrassed.

 

2.

 

These days, Jeremy’s monster was a little quiet. Why? Because Jean was finally here, with the Trojans.

 

These days, Jeremy hated Riko Moriyama with his whole being. 

 

Jeremy remembered the phone call from Kevin. At first he thought it was a dream, or a cruel joke. 

 

But then he dragged his disbelieving ass to Palmetto and saw Jean. 

 

Jeremy loved Jean's skin. Pale and smooth as porcelain.

 

Riko had broken the porcelain, generously smeared cuts and scars and bruises on it. Jean looked at him with haunted eyes from the bed, piled with bandages and blankets and Jeremy felt choked with how much he wanted, needed to make sure Jean was kept safe.

 

He wouldn't allow another scar on that skin.

 

Jean was now with the Trojans. Jeremy could finally watch him play; put him on the Trojan lineup like he'd fantasized all those months ago. Sara and Laila are playing seamlessly with him on the court.

 

Off the court, it's a different picture.

 

Jean is sure footed and confident in the court. He's still a wall, blocking anyone and anything on his path, blocking even Jeremy on his best days. 

 

Off the court, he's a _mess_. 

 

Jean doesn't sleep well. His body follows a messed up Circadian rhythm that makes him sleep at odd intervals. Sometimes he sleeps at respectable hours, sometimes in the middle of a class; sometimes he stays awake even when he's battered from practice. 

 

Jean eats everything put in front of him, going through everything mechanically, not tasting anything. Laila asked him once how the mac-n-cheese tasted. The blank look she received made Jeremy think he didn't even notice what he ate most times.

 

Jean couldn't be alone.

 

That's what ate Jeremy from the inside. He knew the Ravens were a cult at worse anx a hive at best. But the amount of dehumanization applied on Jean sickened him. He'd apparently decided Jeremy was his pair. He trailed like a shadow wherever Jeremy went. As much as it satisfied the monster in Jeremy, he knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong. He'd appointed Laila and Alvarez to take his place when he was away at class or an errand. Every time he came back to see Jean this close to panic.

 

He'd been getting better, though, Jeremy told himself. Jean was now loads better. He was almost smiling these days. The scars crisscrossing him head to toe were closed up and no longer a livid red. He was playing without any lingering stiffness. He was sleeping almost like a normal person. Jeremy had seen him become very partial to chocolate chip cookies.

 

Which brings him back to the present.

 

3.

 

Jeremy's coming back from the nearest Marlene's bakery that makes his favorite jumbo sized chocolate chip cookies. He bought a box of five because today is Jean's birthday.

 

By the time he reaches the dorms, the party is in full swing. Jeremy can't blame them, really. College students will take any excuse to imbibe alcohol.

 

He treks back to his and Jean's room, noting his roommate's absence. He must be somewhere in the party,  as bizarre as the notion is.

 

Jeremy lets his hair down, literally and figuratively, untying his hair from the messy bun at the top. Wearing his hair up for too long ended in a headache. Jeremy KNEW he was going to drink a lot tonight. He didn't need an extra bit of headache on top of the inevitable hangover.

 

Jeremy drinks. He dances. He sings karaoke.

 

Funnily enough, he doesn't meet the birthday boy for hours. It's midnight and Jeremy is pleasantly sloshed when he finds himself among his friends, his team. Oh, god. Jeremy loves them.

 

He tells them, which earns a few snorts and titters. Alvarez is setting up something that looks suspiciously like-

 

'Truth or Dare!' Laila chirps.

 

 _Oh, no._ This isn't going to end well. Not when Jean is also here, looking sober except there's a flush to his pale cheekbones. Jeremy gets fixated on them for a while. He's shaken out of it when everyone shuffles to sit in a circle around an empty beer bottle.

 

There's only about ten of them still sober enough to sit up and play. Jeremy leans on a coffee table and sips his beer for a while, watching the others act like idiot 6-year olds, but mostly watching Jean. Watching his head tilt back to drink, his very prominent Adam’s apple bobbing, the perfect cupid's bow of his upper lip stretching in a timid smile. 

 

'Earth to Captain useless gay! Knock knock Knox!'

 

Philip is laughing his ass off at his own lame joke. Jeremy spares him an unimpressed glare. It's not a secret, really. Even Jean knows. Jeremy is very vocal about acceptance and diversity in his team. 

 

Alvarez cackles and tells him to pick truth or dare. 

 

Well, shit. Jeremy knows how loose his mouth is when he's drunk. That's why he tries not to speak at all when he's drinking. Picking truth would be a disaster, especially when the monster in his chest is purring and preening. 

 

'Dare,' he picks.

 

The look on Alvarez's face tells him he's made a huge mistake. Her lips curl up like a cat's, eyes glinting with mischief.  Oh, Jeremy is properly fucked. 

 

'Jeremyyyy, why don't you tell us your worst pickup line? Oh I know! You gotta tell it to Jean! Go on! I'm sure he's gonna love it!'

 

Jeremy pulls at his hair. 'Worst? Don't you mean best?'

 

'Nooooo, I mean the worst! Go on! C'mon, before we fall asleep.'

 

Jeremy glared at Alvarez, making a note to himself to have her run laps for it later. But now... he had to think of the worst pick up line? He searched his memory. There were a few really good, some really bad, and one that made him cringe. _Ooh, that's the one._

 

In hindsight, maybe he should've picked something simpler. But a drunk Jeremy was a rash Jeremy.

 

He looks across the circle to where Jean was watching him with mild curiosity and blurts it out.

 

Jean's eyes widen, his lips parting a bit. 

 

'Come again?' Philip says in between laughter-gasps. Jeremy is very annoyed.

 

'I said,' he raises his voice. 'Forget the exes, have sex with me.'

 

A snort makes him turn his head back, and then he's watching, dumbstruck, as Jean Moreau laughs.

 

The laughter transforms his face into something new, like a flower opening up to sunlight. Jeremy can't look away. His eyes rove hungrily over the slightly crooked nose, the dark red lips, the eyes scrunched up and laugh lines radiating away....

 

Jean sits up properly as his laughter dies down. He's still grinning, his eyes bright. 

 

'That was good,' he tells Jeremy with a slight accent. '10/10 would bang.' He starts laughing again.

 

And Jeremy Knox would forget a lot of it the next morning. He would forget about making Alvarez do the laps, he would forget about Philip doing a horrible striptease, he would even forget the date and time and what he'd bought for Jean.

 

But that smile, he would remember that smile in every detail for years. 

  


(And that night is when the monster in his chest finally goes to sleep.)

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr! I'm Andreil-Minyasten


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